Getting married is a huge life change. After almost an entire month of being married, today is the first time I’ve felt even remotely like my pre-wedding self. My wedding has been life altering for me and life has altered in the most remarkable ways. But after having experienced my Indian wedding, I have come to define the word “chaos” in different ways. What happens in an Indian household getting ready for a wedding is its own kind of chaos. I was completely oblivious to this chaos until I landed in India, about 25 days before the big day. The moment I saw the house, I knew it was going to be a homecoming like no other.
I was home after 2.5 years and I was home as a bride. Apart from the bridal treatment which included a pre-breakfast of eggs and plantain, breakfast, pomegranate juice at 11 am, liberty to sleep whenever I wanted to, lunch, post lunch vegetable soup, tea, fruits and dinner; there was also a lot of shopping to look forward to. I received the most pampering for the first time since I was a baby and it was truly a vacation. That lasted for about a week. As we neared the wedding, the tension in the air was also reaching its peak. People were losing their tempers at the drop of a pin and my mom and aunt were looking for ways to make the days longer than 24 hours. I tried to retreat to a corner of the house and become invisible, but the flaring tempers spared no one. An Indian parent (or responsible adult in the family) at a child’s wedding, is usually at their multitasking best and also in the most stress they’ll ever be in. It’s fun to watch from a distance. Only from a distance. With inviting over a 1000 people, never ending shopping, dealing with caterers, decorators, arranging transportation and stay for the guests, and trying to and finally giving up on pacifying angry relatives complaining about a non-issue, you’ll get to see them deal with it all.
But my pre-wedding days were also some that I will cherish for the entirety of my life because of the time I got to spend with close family and friends. My mom and I had always wanted my wedding to be an occasion for the entire extended family to get together and spend a lot of time together; and it was exactly that! We had about 4-5 days before the wedding when the house was packed with people - laughing and eating and bonding. I met cousins that I hadn’t had the opportunity to spend time with in years! I had a huge group of girls (and my brothers) that made sure I looked good, ate well, laughed enough, kept my sanity, found some peace and quiet in the house to make phone calls to my fiancé (now husband), and walked into marriage without too much nervousness on this huge life change. I was, like every bride, extremely nervous, but at the same time, felt immensely blessed. There were too many blessings in those days to count. But there was a special blessing, an extremely special one.
My cousin Shahnaz (who can single handedly take 33% of the credit for me keeping my sanity amidst all the chaos) had come over with her little boys Yahya, 4 and five month old Dawud (also known as, my little Dodo). What her little boys did to add life and cheer and laughter into my pre wedding days, no one else could have! I was meeting little Dodo for the first time and this little boy was my companion as I shopped for my wedding. His love for bright colors and his charming smile made wedding shopping a win-win for us both. He was there through it all - shopping, pre wedding functions, wedding, post wedding, all of it! Holding him and playing with him and talking to him not only helped me disappear from the chaotic action, but also calmed me down in a way only a baby’s laughter could. While Yahya was getting everyone excited by running around and sharing his excitement at his aunt’s wedding, Dodo stayed with me and became my personal ray of sunshine! Having always been a person that loved to spend time with little children, I could not have wished for any better time to bond with my nephews.
The other 67% of the credit for me keeping my sanity through it all, having every bit of fun and looking like the bride I’ve always wanted to look like, goes to a team of young people aged anywhere between 10-25. My maid of honor who could give Monica of F.R.I.E.N.D.S serious competition, my little sister who is also my own ray of sunshine and laughter, all my bridesmaids (including my friend of 15 years, Wardah who was with me through all of it, providing the kind of comfort and support only a close friend could) and my brothers that were put through an insane amount of work during those days.
The days preceding my wedding were their own kind of special - packed with abundant blessings! I have always believed that the best kind of blessings are the people in our lives and my pre wedding days were truly special because of the time I spent in the company of people I so loved. My family and friends not only made sure that I had the wedding of my dreams but they also made the process so memorable. They had all - parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends; taken off from work and school and their regular lives and took on this huge project of making sure my wedding was all that I had dreamt of. They made sure I had their company when I most wished for and needed it and that has been the truest blessing!
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