All it takes is 10 seconds. The 10 seconds it takes to walk across the stage. 10 seconds to make the transition from student to alumnus. I've been a student for as long as I can remember. Now, 18 years since I first started school, I've both a bachelors degree and an inexplicable hollow feeling inside of me. That feeling of deep sorrow, brought about by the loss of something so close to your heart and the feeling of intense happiness at having finally achieved something you've been working for, really hard. All the physics, chemistry and math I've learned have programmed my brain into automatically detecting opposites when they appear together and to know that they cancel each other. The happiness and sorrow have canceled each other and have left me with some sort of numb, empty feeling.
As I look back at my college life, four years worth of memories come rushing onto me. My first few days on campus were quite intimidating. I walked around carrying a map, had lunch alone all the time and absolutely hated the place. It took me half a semester to actually start looking forward to going to campus. Four years later, the campus is home. It is the place where I learned what it means to be independent, made friends for life, discovered that everyone needs to spend time with themselves and that there is nothing a good cup of coffee can't solve. I threw away the map a couple of weeks into my first semester. I'm now guided by instinct when I walk around campus. On the day of my convocation, the moments before I went on stage were when the realization that I was graduating finally hit me. It was in those moments when I realized that college life is definitely about academics but a larger part of it is the memories I've made around campus and the times spent with friends. It's secretly looking up and reacting to the scores of the CSK vs. KKR cricket match with my friend in class; the days spent watching Bollywood movies in study rooms with friends; the breaks when my one of my friends and I listened to Ilayaraja's (popular South Indian music composer) 80's classics to keep away thoughts of studying; cheering for the Indian Student Association at International Dance Competition; running from one end of campus to the other in a record 5 minutes so that I don't miss the next bus; and working on bugs in my programming assignments, always at the engineering building because that place was my lucky charm and the bug was sure to get fixed. It's also the classes missed because I just needed to catch up with a friend over coffee; the hours spent on my favorite couch at the library; feeling peaceful and content after attending the Friday prayers on campus;walking to the parking lot with a friend because walking alone was too boring; visiting the campus pond on the way to my 9 am class, when the light is just perfect and the view breathtaking; and (most of all) collapsing on my favorite table at the Panera Bread/Starbucks on campus after the last class of the week and getting some much-needed personal relaxation time. It is each and every single one of those memories that now define my four years at college, a lot more than the grades I graduated with.
Every little thing that happens in college is a learning experience. All that I've learned over the years bear witness to that fact. Through computer programming, I learnt that sometimes the smallest mistakes can cause the most trouble; through literature I learnt that not everything is what it appears to be, that you must read in between the lines; through advanced math I learnt how important it is to be able to prove your claims and theories; through painting I learned that sometimes the best kind of therapy is to express your inner creativity without fear; and most importantly, studying five subjects in three months, for 8 semesters has taught me valuable lessons on time management, let me experience the catastrophic consequences of procrastination. The various group projects have taught me how important it is to be able to listen to, consider and implement others’ ideas. And going to one of the most diverse campuses in the country has taught me to appreciate the variety of cultures I saw around me.
However, I learned more from my mistakes than what was taught in my classes. What taught me the most was not what I learned in classes, it was the mistakes I made. I made a lot of mistakes. As in, a LOT of mistakes. Some I learnt from and many I didn't. But if I were to re-live my college days, based on lessons learnt from my mistakes, this is what I'd tell myself:
Every little thing that happens in college is a learning experience. All that I've learned over the years bear witness to that fact. Through computer programming, I learnt that sometimes the smallest mistakes can cause the most trouble; through literature I learnt that not everything is what it appears to be, that you must read in between the lines; through advanced math I learnt how important it is to be able to prove your claims and theories; through painting I learned that sometimes the best kind of therapy is to express your inner creativity without fear; and most importantly, studying five subjects in three months, for 8 semesters has taught me valuable lessons on time management, let me experience the catastrophic consequences of procrastination. The various group projects have taught me how important it is to be able to listen to, consider and implement others’ ideas. And going to one of the most diverse campuses in the country has taught me to appreciate the variety of cultures I saw around me.
However, I learned more from my mistakes than what was taught in my classes. What taught me the most was not what I learned in classes, it was the mistakes I made. I made a lot of mistakes. As in, a LOT of mistakes. Some I learnt from and many I didn't. But if I were to re-live my college days, based on lessons learnt from my mistakes, this is what I'd tell myself:
- It might sound cliched, but don't put off assignments until two days before the due date.
- Irrespective of how much work you have at school, always put aside time for yourself, family and friends. Don't work so hard that you look back at your college days and regret that you never had time for the people who matter.
- When you feel like it, take a break. Don't push yourself to study when your brain is furiously protesting. It's just a waste of time.
- Don't ever take up a heavy load in your senior year. When you take senior classes, don't overload yourself. I made this mistake and is what I regret the most. Don't put yourself in a situation where you'll have to deal with more than you can.
- Make friends! And that too with people who are not the same age as you, or from the same background. This way you open yourself up to new experiences and present yourself with the opportunity to learn something new everyday. This is such an enriching experience and a chance for you to grow and mature as a person.
- Don't expect yourself to be an expert in your major right after the first day of classes. For that matter, not even after graduation. Be willing to learn and grasp as much information as you can but don't think you need to know everything. It is perfectly okay to not have in-depth knowledge of your field when you walk in to college. You are there to learn, not to waste your time and money listening to stuff you already know.
- Don't let people lower your self esteem. There might be a few people in every class who might seem to know everything about the subject. Don't let that bother you or make you feel less smarter.
- Do something outside of classes, be involved in a club, learn something new or do something that takes your mind off studies. This way, you not only learn new skills but also find constructive ways to spend your breaks from studying.
- Get enough sleep!!! I just can't emphasize how important this is. I told myself that I'd never put myself in a situation that demands an all-nighter; and I didn't. If you don't sleep enough before an exam, there is pretty much no point in studying either. Sleep helps you remember and keeps you fresh while taking the exam. Sleep is also crucial to good health and so don't compromise on that.
- Finally, have fun! College is also a lot about having fun, irrespective of the assignments and exams and deadlines.
