Mastering the art of coexistence

In those moments of extreme boredom when I could be doing awesome things like watching movies or picking up my favorite book to read, I instead choose to wonder about the weird ways in which the human mind and in turn our society works (don't ask me why I do that, I myself am not sure). Today being one such boring day, I went on to think about who or what set the norms for us to follow. Of course the norms of our society were not agreed upon by everyone. We 7 billion people, each with our own perspective towards life can not all possibly agree upon anything. In those cases probably the majority or the most influential were instrumental in setting up the norms. What was once decided upon by a certain group of people is what we consider to be the face of perfection today. We add on to that and impose our own ideas on others. We seem to forget that the world is all about perspectives. What you might think is great might not be that great to others.

Each of us has our own way of thinking, own ideas and our very own perspectives. For so many of us to co exist, we need to learn to find a midpoint between our views and others'. Sadly that is not the case. We are all forced to comply by the society's rules. If you think about it, that is a great way to prevent chaos. Let us all be robots, forget our personal likes and dislikes and do what others expect us to do. But isn't it important for us to take into consideration everyone's needs? I'm not going to talk about how the views of everyone living in a society should be considered. It would be extremely chaotic and impractical. Since I don't have any ideas on how to achieve that without making a mess out of social life, I'm going to keep mum about that. But as individuals, we need to realize that any interaction or relationship works mutually. It needs two people for it to work. It needs both their perspectives to be considered for it to work. And that is where most of us make a big, big mistake. We seem to forget that the other person needs to have a say. We impose our ideas upon others. We assess other people using the same scale that we use for ourselves.

Each of us is different. When you think you are being perfect, another person could find a thousand flaws in you. Keep in mind that when you point others' flaws to them and expect them to change themselves to suit your taste, they might be ready to do the same with you. It might be time and energy consuming but remember to not impose your ideas upon anyone but to take everyone's ideas into consideration. Remember that you maybe perfect in your perspective but not necessarily so in others' perspectives. Keep in mind that if each of us began to act the same, look the same and think the same, we would all lose our identities and the beauty of being human. 

Some magic, a friend and seven books

As I was scrolling through my face book news feed, I noticed a link to an article on things that happened after the Harry Potter books ended. That took me on a walk through memory lane. So many thoughts and memories came flooding back to me that I decided to dedicate a post to what is probably the greatest children's fiction series ever!

I was eleven when I was first introduced to the Harry Potter series. Eleven also happens to be the age in which you receive your invitation to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in the series. I'm sure many kids of my generation spent the whole of their eleventh year waiting for their letter from Hogwarts. Unfortunately no such thing happened. But, as the years passed by, I would imagine what my life would've been like if I actually went to Hogwarts. Most kids my age would have done that. I guess that is the biggest achievement of Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling. They brought magic into our lives!

It was probably the most popular and the most celebrated book series ever, popular among both kids and adults. The most special thing about the series was that it made magic seem believable. It made many, many kids like me imagine a parallel life at Hogwarts. The books were my best friends through out all the chaos that was middle school and early years of high school. I wasn't one of those kids who started reading from the first book and moved in order till the final book. I was gifted the 5th book when I was in 7th grade. Within a period of two years, I read the first six books in the most haphazard order possible. And when the 7th book came out, in the summer of my first year at high school, I made sure that I was prepared for it. I bought the book on the day it came out and finished reading it overnight. When I finished reading it though, I felt a void. Every summer, I would take out all the books and re-read them. When I moved to the US for college, I had access to loads of books through the public libraries. That is when I took a break from Harry Potter and read other books. But even today, when I don't feel so good I turn towards my Harry Potter collection for comfort. I have read many other fiction series ever since. But none stuck with me like Harry Potter did.

Along with reading the books myself, I'd encourage (more like force) the younger kids in the family to read as well. When they were too young to read the books, I'd narrate the stories to them. If you ask me, I'd tell you that you'd have an incomplete childhood if you never read Harry Potter. I'm sure I'd probably be reading the books even when I have grand kids and I'd ask them to read as well because we all need some magic in our lives.

Desert Safari - an unforgettable experience!

After a week long trip to Dubai, I'm all eager to share my Dubai stories. But this post is reserved for my favorite part of the trip - the Desert Safari. Though I've spent most of my life in the Persian Gulf , I've never ventured into the desert. I've never given a thought to how these cities would have been before the advent of tall buildings. For those living outside the Middle East, we were living in the desert. For those of us living within, we were living in big, bright, never sleeping cities. So, the desert safari was my first chance to have a look at the real face of the Arabian Peninsula. But that's not what made the experience interesting. The sheer adventure this experience provided is what made it unforgettable.

Having heard people talk about the desert safari and watching it on many, many travel shows, it was the first thing on my list of to-do's in Dubai. It was also one of the first things I did on my trip. There are a number of tour companies in Dubai that offer Desert Safari packages. All the groups going with a company went at the same time everyday. My family had a car all to ourselves and we went with four other groups. We had experienced drivers, taking us on the Safari. We thought we knew what was to come but of course we had no clue. It was one big roller coaster ride! The drivers made it all the more fun by going on particularly bumpy routes. Going up and down the sand dunes was way too much fun. At one point, when we were going downhill on a sand dune, the cars stopped, almost vertical! Halfway through the ride, you'd look around you and realize that there is nothing but sand. Deep in the desert, it was hard to believe that we were not very far from the city.

 After the safari, we were taken to a desert camp, to experience more of the desert life. The camp included camel rides, henna, traditional Arab food, souvenir stores and Arab dance performances. Sitting under the starry sky, in the moonlight at the desert camp, looking around at all the activities, far from civilization, it was an experience to cherish. This was the most unique part of the trip. If you're ever visiting Dubai, DO NOT LEAVE WITHOUT GOING ON THE DESERT SAFARI.

P.S - In this post, pictures are capable of saying much more than what I could put into words.

Forget the past..Really?

We've all heard people say over and over again, "Forget the past. Don't give a thought to what has already happened. Move on." Yes, we need to move on. But I believe that we don't really need to forget what already happened in order to move on. In fact, we need to keep the past in mind as we move forward. I realized that, when I noticed that people often say things in an overflow of emotions. Most of us do not go back to think about what we said or did, nor do we think about what impact our words and actions had on other people. It is often said that people do not think before acting when in anger. When you think about it, this is true not only for anger, but for excess of any emotion. People are incapable of thinking clearly when they experience too much of happiness, sorrow, anger, annoyance or any other emotions. How does this relate to not forgetting the past?

Not staying entangled in memories of the past is important, but there are certain things that you should never forget. I never forget things I said or did. Most of the time, we do not think before speaking. Later we forget all about it. While talking to others, we need to make sure that our words do not hurt them. We also need to keep in mind that we don't say something we would regret later. It's human to act in the heat of the moment. We can't afford to spend time thinking before saying something. But we can sure try.

Never forgetting what you said, gives you a chance to not make that mistake again. Learning from your mistakes is the best way of learning. Remembering our past actions gives us an opportunity for that kind of learning. Next time you think you spoke to someone in too much anger or excitement, run that conversation through in your head. If you realize that you'd said something you weren't supposed to, you're probably not going to make that same mistake again. Some things about the past should be forgotten but certain other things need to be stored in some corner of your brain so that they can serve as a reminder in the future.

My journey to and in the kitchen

I don't really remember the first time I made something by myself in the kitchen. But it probably was when I squeezed a lemon, added some water and sugar to it and proudly showed off my first lemonade at the age of 7. I remember making milkshakes (basically milk+fruit essence+sugar) during later years of elementary school. I also remember making the occasional bread pudding during middle school and early years of high school. But ultimately what gave me the love and passion of cooking was that batch of brownies I baked during junior year of high school. Those brownies weren't much work on my part as I used a ready-to-bake mix. But it was an instant hit among my friends. I became their favorite brownie chef. I did try explaining that its pretty easy to make and that they should all try too. One of them tried and accidentally burnt them. That convinced the whole lot of them that only I can bake brownies. Their love and encouragement took me back to the kitchen over and over again. I baked often, but every time using the mix. The occasional custard now and then, the tea I made for my dad along with my brownies were all I made as long as I was in high school.

High school was soon over, all my friends scattered around the world. That put a halt to my visits into the kitchen for quite some time. When I started college, I'd come back from classes, sit at the table in the kitchen and talk to my aunt about my day. That took me back to the kitchen. She'd cook and I'd watch her. Slowly I started looking for recipes to try out. On Friday evenings when I'm about to start studying or am unable to answer that one annoying homework question, the kitchen seems like the best place on earth. The kitchen became my getaway from weekend studying. I started trying out all those recipes. Sadly, most of the things I've tried out so far have been desserts. Well, who doesn't love desserts? I tried out new things and most of the time, my creations didn't disappoint me. In this short span of time, I've got a few signature dishes of my own. My family loves my mango cheesecake, and family friends love my Badushah/ Balushahi. I've tried a bunch of cheesecakes, cupcakes, cookies and Indian desserts. Once in a while, I'd wander off to the savory side too. The only couple of meals I've ever made have been supervised by either my mom or my aunt, so I wouldn't yet call them my own. I've dreamt of making my own meals but I haven't gotten there yet. Hopefully someday soon I'd serve my family a meal made entirely by me. When I get there, I'd make sure that a blog post is dedicated to my first meal!

Along the way I've realized that cooking can be a lot of fun if you really like doing it. From what I've learnt in the kitchen, the joy of cooking doesn't lie on how good the food tastes. The joy of cooking lies in the smiles that people give you after having the food you made. The joy of cooking lies in sharing the food with others. The smiles and the feedback I've received, have given me all the motivation I need. Fortunately I'm surrounded by people who've always encouraged me to try out new things. My journey in the kitchen started with my friends' requests for brownies. And it continues.....

P.S: The pictures are my creations :)

Your Hijab, your choice

Finally, here’s my kind of a topic! I’ve been thinking about and debating with others on this topic for quite some time now. Here’s my chance to express my thoughts on this matter. Islam is a beautiful religion. Women in Islam are empowered, yet protected. The rights Islam gave women in the 7^th century AD were not made available to other women till the 20^th century.  The confidence and the sense of security that I feel, as a Muslim girl in Hijab is enormous. Yet, I see women being unfairly judged and criticized by other Muslim men and women everyday.

Firstly, someone’s Hijab is not an indicator of her piety. Please go back and read that sentence again. Yes, Islam requires us women to cover ourselves. But, to be able to fully understand what the Hijab is about and to accept it wholeheartedly is more important than covering yourself just because society asks you to. Sisters, your Hijab is a decision that concerns you and Allah alone. Please do not let any one else, be it your parents, husband or community members interfere in that. You have to accept it willingly and shouldn't be forced into it. My Hijab was my personal choice. My family did not have a say in it and I’m glad it happened that way. If my family had forced me, I’m sure I wouldn’t have the kind of love and dedication towards my Hijab as I now have. I’ve taken my time to learn more about the Hijab and to gradually improve it. I realize that it is a slow process. Similarly, any girl/woman needs her time to learn about the Hijab and slowly accept it.

What the rest of the community is supposed to do is to encourage them and make the process easier for them. But what are we doing? We are posting things on social media that say, “What you are doing is not Hijab, wearing an Abaya and covering your face with a Niqab is Hijab.” I’m sorry, but who has given us the right to dismiss someone’s efforts that easily? It might not be that easy for someone to accept the Hijab as it had been for you. For those of us who have lived or are living in Islamic countries, the Hijab is an easy choice. But for others, it might not be all that easy. We do not know how hard they must be trying to finally get there. Being fellow sisters in Islam, it is our duty to help them with the process. Now for the men whose Social media posts always concern the Hijab. You have absolutely no clue how big of a decision the Hijab is and rude posts on social media are not going to inspire any woman to accept the Hijab.

Let us take a moment to realize that the Hijab only takes us one step closer to becoming better Muslims. It is not true that every woman who wears a Hijab is a good Muslimah and every woman who doesn’t wear a Hijab is not. Let us please not shun anyone or say rude things about a fellow sister in Islam, just because she hasn’t yet taken that brave step towards Hijab. Yes, you can advise them about it. But be careful in choosing your words. Be encouraging. Be supportive. Remember that Allah has asked us to not judge anyone because we are not aware of his or her intentions and in Islam intentions matter more than actions. We are striving everyday to become a better Ummah and in order to achieve that, we need to help each other out and not dishearten anyone.  

The peaceful haven that I call home

I’ve been debating for the past three days if I want to do two similar topics back to back. But, my grandparents’ garden reminded me too much of the place I spent the earliest days of my childhood in: my little hometown at the tip of mainland India, peaceful and unadulterated, green and brimming with scenic landscapes. The neighborhood where I grew up is a tranquil haven, in the middle of coconut farms. Astonishingly, it remains the same even after all these years. If there is one place that I don’t see changing, it is there. The summers that I have been spending there literally transport me to another world, as different as can be from where I spend the rest of the year.

Imagine. You are on the way to my neighborhood from the town. Houses and stores line the road on either side. You then see a water channel ahead. As you cross the channel, the scene changes. A light breeze – neither too warm nor too cold caresses your face. There are coconut palms everywhere you look, dotted with a couple of houses here and there. The greenery is overwhelming and for a moment you wonder if civilization even exists here.  The vehicles speeding by are the only indication that people live there. You make a turn and enter the street where I grew up. You’d find more houses here and in the backdrop, more coconut palms. If you were to visit anytime between noon – 3pm or between 9 pm and dawn, you can be assured that you won’t see anyone outdoors. Apart from the crows cawing and the occasional moos from the coconut farm, it is as quiet as can be. But the mornings and evenings are the exact opposite, brimming with life: kids going to and coming back from school, playing outdoors and the vendors selling vegetables, milk, fish and whatnot. The place is a treat to look at, anytime of the day. But as you go into the farms, you discover wonders. My favorite among those is the narrow waterway that transports water from I’m not sure where to where. As the stream descends in height, it forms a miniature waterfall there. The noise of water gurgling is all you can hear apart from the occasional bird song.

What astonishes me is that the place remains virtually unchanged in the 16 -17 years of my life that I can remember. Yes, the technology invasion has touched my neighborhood too, but in spite of that life still continues there as it did all those years ago. Every year, when I go back home, I anticipate some sort of change but fortunately or unfortunately, everything remains the same and every single thing seems to be shouting, “Welcome back home!” My mom often says that every time you cross the water channel and enter the neighborhood, the breeze is always there to remind you that you are back home.